Three Tips to Becoming a Better Conversationalist

I was hiking with a childhood friend recently and we discussed that one of the main reasons we enjoy hanging out with one another is because our discussions are “balanced”, meaning we both are interested in one another’s lives and there is a natural “volley” to our conversations.

Unfortunately, most people I meet like to just talk about themselves. Some of these people I work with so I have to associate with them or are relatives of people I am close to so I make an effort to be around them. However, as I get older, I find I have to be in the right “mental space” to be around these one sided talkers, and often do not look forward to our discussions.

I believe that we can transform any ordinary discussion with someone into an extraordinary one when we share a genuine interest in what the other one has to say. Many people have not learned that the most important aspect of human communication is to learn to listen and then they will learn to connect.

I have pondered for years why so many people are like this. Do they not have a genuine curiosity about other people as I do? Are they so self centered or “social unaware” that they really believe people want to listen to them talk about themselves all the time? Do they not sense the body language cues they receive from other people who look disinterested when they talk about themselves nonstop?

I believe that we can transform any ordinary discussion with someone into an extraordinary one when two people share a genuine interest in what the other people have to say

If you think you need to improve on your ability to connect with others, here are three tips to become a better conversationalist

Greet to create human contact

The work of communication often starts with greeting, which is a simple but significant behavior. The minute you walk into a room and not acknowledge people around you , is the moment everyone in the room lost interest in learning about you. .

Ask questions of others to discover the unknown

When we ask others questions we are letting them know we are genuinely interested in their lives. We are putting ourselves in a position to discover more and learn about the person.

Compliment

Complimenting someone is a great way to make a connection. This proves you value something about them which will also help you make a quick and long lasting impression and connection to that person.

The ability to connect with other people through conversation is a skill set that is lacking in our society.You will find your connections with others will improve if you take the time to learn more about them and stop talking about yourself.